Pausing and not judging myself, my feelings, my thoughts

I have started PAUSING – when I feel anything, discomfort, pain, joy….pausing, feeling it, allowing the sensations to come up.  From this place of pause I can make more loving choices.  Again I have been connecting to that place of non-duality, non labeling.  Not seeing things as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ but simply as what they are, experiences.

The Upanishads say “The Self is all-pervading, hence It is that which is still and that which travels, that which is active and that which is inactive.  It is both stationary and moving, and It is the basis of all forms of existence, therefore whatever exists in the universe, whether joy or joylessness, pleasure or pain, must spring from It.  Who is better able to know God than I myself, since He resides in my heart and is the very essence of my being?  Such should be the attitude of one who is seeking”

Yes, yes, I long for You so deeply.  I want to remember You always yet each day I allow the world to enter my heart more than I allow You in.  How ridiculous I am.  You are in me yet I cover You with the crud of this unreal world.  Each day I make an effort to dig out the rubble and get back to the source and each day I seem to allow more rubble to fall in.  Yet I cannot stop.  Knowing You is my burning passion and need.  I am on my knees clawing with my fingers to get to You yet I make mistake after mistake.  I am tired.  If I lay here a while and open my heart I know You will show Your face to me.  I let go of the struggle and allow what is to be.  No dualistic struggle, no labeling, I let go and experience, I keep opening myself wide to You.